Eyes of Love

So, I was a hot mess!  A dyed-in-wool, verified, hot mess. I had spent years trying to find something that mattered.  Something that could give me some sort of lasting satisfaction (you know, like the old Rolling Stones song).  I had been raised being a good girl and going to church, but somehow, that did not satisfy me.  There had to be more to life and I set out at the ripe old age of 18 to find that more.  Please believe me when I tell you that I left that "good girl" ( and corn fields) in the rear view mirror as I ran from my Illinois home to California.  I was absolutely certain that was where I would find it- Whatever "it" was.  After 13 years of serious searching, I could not find it!!!  And I looked!  Wherever "it" might be...  and it is so very hard to find Whatever Wherever.

I had been it hunting for 13 years and still, no luck.  Enter the hot mess.  I was sad, empty, addicted, divorced and remarried (and that marriage was rocky) and felt very very alone.  One day, I was in the kitchen doing the dishes and heard a man talking on the TV in the living room.  The interesting thing is that whoever that man was, he was talking to me.  Talking...to...me...  Wiping my hands with the dish cloth, I ran into the room to hear this kind-faced man ( I now know that his name is Ben Kinchlow ) say, "Haven't you run long enough? Jesus, the Lord of all Peace is right there asking you to put your hand in His and he will lead you into all peace".  Well, in my search for

"it", you can bet that peace fell by the wayside a long time ago.

I whispered, "yes" and in that moment, I actually saw Jesus standing in front of me- right there - in my living room. Jesus.  People have asked, "what did He look like?"  It has been many years and what I remember most is His eyes.  Eyes of Love.  When we looked at each other, I noticed that in His eyes were literal pools of love- like deep puddles-of Love- it was so, so-well, life changing.  It dawned on me that this Jesus loved me.   Sad, empty, addicted, divorced and remarried and very very alone me.  There was absolutely no sense that I had to follow a list of man-made rules or get it together or become a good girl to earn this Love.  Complete, pure, total Love and that my darlings, is life-changing.  More on that later.  See you then. Cathy